Calamity Katie

katietrinder
Feb 27, 2024
3 min read

Saturday didn't quite pan out the way I thought. The plan had been, have a look around the shops in Newark, have a bit of something to eat and then go out with the dogs for a nice walk. Sadly my alter-ego Calamity Katie had other ideas.

I know Beyonce had the alter-ego of Sasha Fierce, so whenever she needed a boost of confidence before she went on stage, she channeled her inner Sasha. Sasha gave her the confidence to be free, sensual and sexy.

I'm not sure I got that Beyonce memo, because my alter-ego is Calamity Katie. She falls over everything, bumps into stuff and has a scar on her thumb for where she caught it on the handle of the microwave (no I don't know how that's possible either)

Earlier this week I banged my hand on the doorframe as I was walking through it (or not as the case was) I remember thinking "oh that hurt" and then not thinking any more about it.

Later that day it hurt a bit more. The next day, it started to throb and by Saturday I was struggling to change gear and using a knife and fork was agony. I began to think I might have broken my knuckle as I couldn't even straighten my third and fourth fingers.

Having missed out on her calling as a health care professional, my sister Lucy in her best Meredith Gray voice said... and I quote.

Lucy's bedside manner isn't for everyone!

Armed with a bottle of water, my phone and book, I headed to my local hospital and told the far more sympathetic than Lucy was receptionist what had happened.

I took my seat in the crowded waiting room and began my wait. If I'm honest, because I'm working my way through Trevor Negus's DCI Danny Flint series, a chance to sit and read was fine by me.

My sister always teases me that I have the superpower of being able to read a book and still take in the conversations of everyone around me. The person sat on the chair in front of me was FaceTiming a friend, they were not being quiet. I was only half listening when I heard the friend say;

The person in-front of me then panicked and took the friend off of FaceTime, so I never did get to find out what the drug dealer was doing dropping someone off at their mum's at 1 in the morning.

Eventually I was called to see the triage nurse, who said it did sound like I'd broken it, but I'd need to see the practise nurse and to sit in the black chairs. 15 minutes later having been prodded and poked, I left the black chairs and headed for the dizzy heights of the blue ones in x-ray.

In x-ray I had to put my hand in lots of different poses and felt like I was a hand model. Then me and my newly x-rayed hand were back to the black seats waiting to see the nurse practitioner.

There on the screen in front of her was my skeletal hand. It's weird seeing the inside of your own body, I'm not sure I liked it ... I would not recommend.

The nurse said I hadn't broken it, but I had badly bruised it and that the only thing I could do was to ice, elevate and take ibroprofen. I was relieved it wasn't broken, because that would have been a bit of a nightmare. I'm in and out all day and I need to be able to drive to do my job. However I did feel like I'd wasted everyone's time. I apologised to the nurse that I hadn't broken it and she laughed and said she was pleased I hadn't.

I was back home within a couple of hours and my bruised hand firmly ensconced in the ice pack that gets used to all medical ailments in our house. Every time Lucy or I pull, bruise or strain something out comes the ice pack. Best £25.00 I've ever spent.